I remember my brother and mother going away on holiday (I was left behind as I had exams) and returning with such lovely clothes, I was only eleven at the time but I remember my frustration that the gorgeous jeans my mother had bought were a little tight. That was when I decided to go on my very first diet. Since then I have tried every fad you can think of, not matter how ludicrous they were. Beyonce lost 20lbs on the Lemonade diet, so I tried it...I only lasted about six days and lost a dismal 4lbs.
Ive realised that I cant lose weight because my mum wants me too, or if some bitch thinks I shouldn't wear skinny jeans, but because I want to.My mother has never been mean, but always encouraged me I can completely understand her frustration about the way that Ive let myself go at such a young age. I cant help but compare my self to the other girls around me and wonder what happened. A small part of me thought that I was disappointing her, didnt all mothers want beautiful daughters who they could dote on? But its simply stupid, I know my mum would love the same at 120lbs as at 500lbs.
This time I have decided to lose weight for the last time. I'm done with feeling shite all the time about myself, and comparing myself to my peers. I've decided to make a list of the reasons why I'm losing weight for ME.
- So that I don't have any health complications in the future.
- So that I have more confidence.
- So that I stop comparing myself to others and be happy with myself.
- So that I can go into a shop, pick up some jeans, try them on and NOT have a mental breakdown.
- To surprise an ex who thought he was so much better than me.
- To surprise family who I haven't seen for a while.
- To start my new school in September, completely content with my self.
- So I can wear a bikini on holiday next year.
